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Hammer These Tongs

by Pugsley Buzzard

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I see ya twisting like a pretzel with your feet up in the air You got some airs and graces But you got a temper like a bear Riding with your feet up on the dashboard Wind blowing through your hair You've got a taste for danger And you swear just like a trooper I'm gonna hammer these Tongs Into the old mothbox See if I can't conjure up some sassy kind of tantrum And I'd like to see ya dancing Kick those glasses of the tables Fly off of the handle and Fly off into the night. Some mornings I wake up with my boots a scrapin' Some evenings I come home my tail draggin'in the gravy Let me tell ya. You shure got some magic honey. You put the fire back in my belly As we whip up all kinds of sin. You said you'd like to dig up Elvis Steel his blue suede shoes Sell off for money and go on an ocean cruise You steal the bread right out of their pantries Their skillets off the wall Always cookin'something up but never seem to fall.
10cm Line 03:49
So youre leaving Can you give me a ride? Just down to the corner Drop me off at the side Ain't staying long Just lookin'in This town just ain't big enough to fit us all in. Well it ain't all beer and skittles hell I missed all the pins. Suprised I'm still wheezing after some of the scraps I've been in. And I've been down with a touch of the wine. The winds blowing my britches off of the line. Been looking in windows Watch people scurry Fussing and faffing in their rainy day hurry Squashing bugs with my boots Shooting fish in a barrell Got no where to go in my finest apparel. Well my floaties deflated and the sharks are circling The vistas chaotic but none the less blood curdling. Weather vane's broken pointing down to the ground My life is a shipwreck baby. There's no way but down. Last time I went home my dog bit me. My wife called the cops and I slept in a ditch. Now I know I'm not welcome I won't go there again. Guess there's no use going back where you've been.
Shang Hai-ed 03:59
Oh Mamma Bessie sing the blues Howl me out a cryin' tune Poppa Gatemouth grease yer chops Put some spices in that soup Mecurial heat White gold and silver, slippery beat You're walking through Hot on your tail waves of brass begin to wail' The wolves are sniffin' I want feel that broken heart I want to know the same Cryin'sounds give out the shape Of those feelings with no name Oh Mamma Bessie sing the blues Howl me out a crying tune Glistening bead You wipe your brow and stamp your feet You restless child Cut to the chase I found you hog tied and tarred with egg on your face You're out of place You broke all their rules Turned it upsidedown You just had to make it. You make fine mess But you shit in your nest Now you're out in the cold. Oh mamma Bessie sing the blues Howl me out a cryin'tune Pappa Gatemouth grease yer chops Put some spices in that soup
No Show Joe 04:46
Scary Mary she's right on time Early Shirley has been keeping that street light for an hour Nick the Nose and Ted the head are hitting up old Harry High Pants for some change. Skinny Linney and Wide Clyde are brawling up a Brouhaha And that Nosy Rosy she wants to know the score So where is that man? You know the one with toothpaste for brains and birdbath for charm What's the ETA of that No show Joe? This little arrangement is held together with scotchtape and cigarettes Ain't got no time to put my feet up Gotta hedge me some bets Gonna put the mother load down What's the odds on that Joe Mother said he'd meet me here But I know he ain't gonna show So where is that man You know the one with whisky for brains And a bible for charm What's the ETA of that no show joe. What? You spend the night in a cage Looks like you been dodging a whole lotta shit What? Did Jacopo the ape...Did a monkey write your script All dressed up in a balderdash wrapper Your excuse ain't gonna stick Cause I threw it at the wall And it's starting to slip.
Could be good sleeping with the fishes Sometimes I look out and I don't want a bar Knock on wood But I hate to be superstitious Fat lot of good you been to me We used to live so high up on the hog You always championed the underdog We're all so full of contradictory lies No longer will I back your alibis You play the Devil's advocate all the time Are you a foe or a friend of mine You say you love me but you throw me to the dogs You're a cat among pidgeons You've got a sting in your tail
And the moon grits it's teeth I'm pacing like a tiger in a cage Are you my jailor or my soothing companion I'm mesmerized in a daze You're not afraid to rock the boat You beat the captain at his game You got no tact, no sympathy But I love you just the same Well you tamed me And you blamed me And you stained me And I surrender to you Well there's a whole load coming down And the heats a picking up Trouble is a hoop of fire You got me jumping through rings for you Well you tamed me And you blamed me And you stained me But I love you just the same
Lookin' out at the night zoo All the colorful animals out on the street Fix me up with your voodoo Mixing up potions strong and sweet And if I get a little wild You ain't no innocent child Get with the program reconcile Come on in the water's fine With all your mixing and matching You got a passion for this ruse Tear drops you been catching Shake ém up Get rid of those blues You turn that shit into gold Alchemise some heat from the cold I got no hope! Hell! I fold Ain't no messin' round with you. And it's a complication When the things you need don't come your way It's just another day Well it's some consolation When you receive a little grace A helping hand to help you on your way
In Storyville in New Orleans town There's a place to go when the sun goes down At Lulu White's Lulu White's See you tonight at Lulu White's There's three floors of fun the band plays till dawn There's something there for everyone. See you tonight at Lulu White's We got Flammin' Mammy, Cryin Emma, Bucktown Bessie, Big Butt Annie, Bird Leg Nora, Gold Tooth Gussie, Bucktooth Rena, Boxcar Shortie, Tenderloin Thelma, Lilly the Crip, Yard Dog, Sugarpie and Cherry Red. We got Three Finger Annie, Crazy Miss Thing, Red Head Happy and Bad Girl Jane. See you tonight at Lulu White's.
Well I seen him setting traps With the girl with the squids for hands She was checking the maps He was counting them off on his fingers He's got a plan He's got the contraband He's camouflaged in the snow He's hunting rubber chickens Falling down a hole He's got whistle Makes rubber chicken mating sounds He's hidding in a bush He's firing off some rounds Oh he's a hero He's a masked avenger He's rubber chicken man God knows what's on his agenda Falling down a hole. Got ,me a way around it Got me a whole load Got me way of thinking Got me a hole. A hole in the road. Well hello it's the man It's the man with the walrus tusks Must be that time of year again When the businessmen throw off their husks. Falling down a hole. Got ,me a way around it Got me a whole load Got me way of thinking Got me a hole. A hole in the road.
Sometimes when I get real lowdown I like to have me a hoedown When I get real happy there's nothing quite like this To piss me off. I got eight new dance partners Each one has their own special dance Sometimes it gets downright confusing When they all wear the same pants People round here never say hello or goodbye Just get on down to the ground Look for coins that're never found And leave me with a tear in my eye The cards are down the chips are up I get into my pickup truck And go for a ride The curtains up, my pants are down The ladies frown I'm a rodeo clown We go chill We watch the bill And I can find all the scars and all of the stains That I've left on the astral plains. I never touched her I swear to the judge and my wife Nothin'seems to turn out right Nothin turns out right When all we do is fight for a pack of marlboro lights.


recorded in Sydney Australia 2006


released January 1, 2006


all rights reserved



Pugsley Buzzard Berlin, Germany

The hippeningest, happeningest, piano mashingest hoodooman hipster of the funkological piano this side of where it's at daddio! Big voice, chunky piano, red hot bands and sassy horns. Intriguing multidimensional songs. Pugsley has played all over from New Orleans to Berlin and beyond and originates from the deep deep south. That's Australia folks. Come and get your cures all ills musical elixir. ... more

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