Hammer These Tongs

by Pugsley Buzzard

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about

recorded in Sydney Australia 2006

credits

released January 1, 2006

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about

Pugsley Buzzard Melbourne, Australia

The hippeningest, happeningest, piano mashingest hoodooman hipster of the funkological piano this side of where it's at daddio! Big voice, chunky piano, red hot bands and sassy horns. Intriguing multidimensional songs. Pugsley has played all over from New Orleans to Berlin and beyond and originates from the deep deep south. That's Australia folks. Come and get your cures all ills musical elixir. ... more

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Track Name: Hammer Theses Tongs
I see ya twisting like a pretzel with your feet up in the air
You got some airs and graces
But you got a temper like a bear
Riding with your feet up on the dashboard
Wind blowing through your hair
You've got a taste for danger
And you swear just like a trooper
I'm gonna hammer these Tongs
Into the old mothbox
See if I can't conjure up some sassy kind of tantrum
And I'd like to see ya dancing
Kick those glasses of the tables
Fly off of the handle and Fly off into the night.
Some mornings I wake up with my boots a scrapin'
Some evenings I come home my tail draggin'in the gravy
Let me tell ya. You shure got some magic honey.
You put the fire back in my belly
As we whip up all kinds of sin.
You said you'd like to dig up Elvis
Steel his blue suede shoes
Sell off for money and go on an ocean cruise
You steal the bread right out of their pantries
Their skillets off the wall
Always cookin'something up but never seem to fall.
Track Name: 10cm Line
So youre leaving
Can you give me a ride?
Just down to the corner
Drop me off at the side
Ain't staying long
Just lookin'in
This town just ain't big enough to fit us all in.

Well it ain't all beer and skittles hell I missed all the pins.
Suprised I'm still wheezing after some of the scraps I've been in.
And I've been down with a touch of the wine.
The winds blowing my britches off of the line.

Been looking in windows
Watch people scurry
Fussing and faffing in their rainy day hurry
Squashing bugs with my boots
Shooting fish in a barrell
Got no where to go in my finest apparel.

Well my floaties deflated and the sharks are circling
The vistas chaotic but none the less blood curdling.
Weather vane's broken pointing down to the ground
My life is a shipwreck baby. There's no way but down.

Last time I went home my dog bit me.
My wife called the cops and I slept in a ditch.
Now I know I'm not welcome I won't go there again.
Guess there's no use going back where you've been.
Track Name: Shang Hai-ed
Oh Mamma Bessie sing the blues
Howl me out a cryin' tune
Poppa Gatemouth grease yer chops
Put some spices in that soup

Mecurial heat
White gold and silver, slippery beat
You're walking through
Hot on your tail waves of brass begin to wail'
The wolves are sniffin'

I want feel that broken heart
I want to know the same
Cryin'sounds give out the shape
Of those feelings with no name
Oh Mamma Bessie sing the blues
Howl me out a crying tune

Glistening bead
You wipe your brow and stamp your feet
You restless child
Cut to the chase
I found you hog tied and tarred with egg on your face
You're out of place

You broke all their rules
Turned it upsidedown
You just had to make it.
You make fine mess
But you shit in your nest
Now you're out in the cold.

Oh mamma Bessie sing the blues
Howl me out a cryin'tune
Pappa Gatemouth grease yer chops
Put some spices in that soup
Track Name: No Show Joe
Scary Mary she's right on time
Early Shirley has been keeping that street light for an hour
Nick the Nose and Ted the head are hitting up old Harry High Pants for some change.
Skinny Linney and Wide Clyde are brawling up a Brouhaha
And that Nosy Rosy she wants to know the score

So where is that man?
You know the one with toothpaste for brains and birdbath for charm
What's the ETA of that No show Joe?

This little arrangement is held together with scotchtape and cigarettes
Ain't got no time to put my feet up
Gotta hedge me some bets
Gonna put the mother load down
What's the odds on that Joe
Mother said he'd meet me here
But I know he ain't gonna show

So where is that man
You know the one with whisky for brains
And a bible for charm
What's the ETA of that no show joe.

What? You spend the night in a cage
Looks like you been dodging a whole lotta shit
What? Did Jacopo the ape...Did a monkey write your script
All dressed up in a balderdash wrapper
Your excuse ain't gonna stick
Cause I threw it at the wall
And it's starting to slip.
Track Name: Cutting the Tie
Could be good sleeping with the fishes
Sometimes I look out and I don't want a bar
Knock on wood
But I hate to be superstitious
Fat lot of good you been to me

We used to live so high up on the hog
You always championed the underdog
We're all so full of contradictory lies
No longer will I back your alibis

You play the Devil's advocate all the time
Are you a foe or a friend of mine
You say you love me but you throw me to the dogs
You're a cat among pidgeons
You've got a sting in your tail
Track Name: Just the Same
And the moon grits it's teeth
I'm pacing like a tiger in a cage
Are you my jailor or my soothing companion
I'm mesmerized in a daze

You're not afraid to rock the boat
You beat the captain at his game
You got no tact, no sympathy
But I love you just the same

Well you tamed me
And you blamed me
And you stained me
And I surrender to you

Well there's a whole load coming down
And the heats a picking up
Trouble is a hoop of fire
You got me jumping through rings for you

Well you tamed me
And you blamed me
And you stained me
But I love you just the same
Track Name: Chasin' Geeses
Lookin' out at the night zoo
All the colorful animals out on the street
Fix me up with your voodoo
Mixing up potions strong and sweet
And if I get a little wild
You ain't no innocent child
Get with the program reconcile
Come on in the water's fine

With all your mixing and matching
You got a passion for this ruse
Tear drops you been catching
Shake ém up
Get rid of those blues
You turn that shit into gold
Alchemise some heat from the cold
I got no hope! Hell! I fold
Ain't no messin' round with you.

And it's a complication
When the things you need don't come your way
It's just another day
Well it's some consolation
When you receive a little grace
A helping hand to help you on your way
Track Name: See you at Lulu White's
In Storyville in New Orleans town
There's a place to go when the sun goes down
At Lulu White's Lulu White's
See you tonight at Lulu White's
There's three floors of fun the band plays till dawn
There's something there for everyone.
See you tonight at Lulu White's

We got Flammin' Mammy, Cryin Emma, Bucktown Bessie, Big Butt Annie, Bird Leg Nora, Gold Tooth Gussie, Bucktooth Rena, Boxcar Shortie, Tenderloin Thelma, Lilly the Crip, Yard Dog, Sugarpie and Cherry Red.

We got Three Finger Annie, Crazy Miss Thing, Red Head Happy and Bad Girl Jane. See you tonight at Lulu White's.
Track Name: Falling Down a Hole
Well I seen him setting traps
With the girl with the squids for hands
She was checking the maps
He was counting them off on his fingers
He's got a plan
He's got the contraband
He's camouflaged in the snow
He's hunting rubber chickens
Falling down a hole

He's got whistle
Makes rubber chicken mating sounds
He's hidding in a bush
He's firing off some rounds
Oh he's a hero
He's a masked avenger
He's rubber chicken man
God knows what's on his agenda
Falling down a hole.

Got ,me a way around it
Got me a whole load
Got me way of thinking
Got me a hole.
A hole in the road.

Well hello it's the man
It's the man with the walrus tusks
Must be that time of year again
When the businessmen throw off their husks.
Falling down a hole.

Got ,me a way around it
Got me a whole load
Got me way of thinking
Got me a hole.
A hole in the road.
Track Name: Big Edna Bites Back
This is a song about a woman I know
Let me tell it to ya blow by blow
She's a broad that could do ya serious harm
She likes a chat
Hell she could talk the doors of a barn

Well don't you monkey
Don't you be horsing around
At least not in Big Edna's part of town
Keep a clean mouth and don't ya walk on the grass
Or she'll come down on ya
Yeah she's real big with the Sass.

She's gonna get ya
She's lookin'at ya
Well I bet ya
She's movin' that sass all over the shop

No one sets up drum kit like Big Edna
She's always there to tuck you in at night
She's sure gots some chutspa, some zing, some shazam
She'll knock the spinach out of Popeye
The jungle out of Tarzan

Well here she comes boys
She'll have grown men quivering in their boots
Oh Yeah! She's a lady!

Well. That's the picture.
Take it back or Sh-Boom she'll hit ya.
That lady she's sure big in the thumb.
She could hitch a ride clear across country with that one.
Track Name: Buzzard's Blues #2
instrumental
Track Name: Marlboro Lites
Sometimes when I get real lowdown
I like to have me a hoedown
When I get real happy there's nothing quite like this
To piss me off.
I got eight new dance partners
Each one has their own special dance
Sometimes it gets downright confusing
When they all wear the same pants
People round here never say hello or goodbye
Just get on down to the ground
Look for coins that're never found
And leave me with a tear in my eye
The cards are down the chips are up
I get into my pickup truck
And go for a ride
The curtains up, my pants are down
The ladies frown
I'm a rodeo clown
We go chill
We watch the bill
And I can find all the scars and all of the stains
That I've left on the astral plains.
I never touched her I swear to the judge and my wife
Nothin'seems to turn out right
Nothin turns out right
When all we do is fight for a pack of marlboro lights.